Monday, 21 April 2014

Deep thoughts time

I've been having pretty deep thoughts about life lately. Last Thursday, I was going to Uni with my bro for an experience of what it's like. While on the train, it made me realise that train rides are beautiful. You meet different people, that you'll never see again. You watch those people step onto the platform, heading off to their own life. This makes you come to a realisation that the world in fact doesn't revolve around you. Everyone has their own story and living their life yet you feel like your not living yours. Anyone else feel like that? We aren't living our lives instead we're living in an plan. We go to school, graduate, work a job for the rest of our life, get married and kids then when we're old we realise we haven't lived at all.

The next deep thought I had the other day is the type of care I crave for that doesn't exist.  Do friends even care? If I were to die, is it a big deal? Will it dramatically change their lives? Of course they will care, depending on who they are. But that type of care isn't what I crave for. Parent's care are different. It's natural for them to care as it's part of a job to be a parent. The type of care I crave for is of a lover's care. The need to protect and worry about me. If I need help, they'll be there. This type of care is similar to friends and family but to feels different.  I crave unconditional love. I crave comfort. I crave the happiness a happy couple feels. The type of care that reassures me that they'll love me forever. The saddest thing is that care, I know won't exist for me. I'm not worth that much care. I crave it badly but no one will give it to me. There's that one flaw no one will accept unless they're a Saint. If there's one fear I have in life it's that I will never find someone to love me. The fear I will die by myself, knowing I have accomplish nothing. I fear the imperfection of my life. I fear of marrying the wrong person. I fear of marrying twice or more. I fear of not even getting married. I fear of being old and finally finding the right person then the next thing I know, I don't have long to live. I'm too imperfect for anyone and that's scary. I get the feeling that I'm someone that every guy will cheat on. I crave so badly for someone to care for me, looking pass my flaws. I'm selfish and I want that person to not be able to function without me in their life. I want to be top priority. I want them to have a fear of losing me.

'We accept the love we think we deserve.' I like this quote from Perks of being a wallflower. It describes me. In life we all want someone with God-like appearance who is multi-millionaire. We know we can't because we don't deserve someone like them. We settle down for who we think we deserve base on how we see ourselves. I, to be honest, can not see myself with anyone. In this life I think I don't deserve love. I may want but I can't get. Everyone is too good for me. Like I said earlier, you got to be a Saint if you're going to accept my flaws, because I wouldn't even give myself a second look. I feel like a burden to anyone who will ever love me. You must pity me to be with me.

Sorry for such a depressing post. It's the deep thoughts, I've been having for a while. Life's just weird and crazy. The train though was pretty deep. I've always seen the world as revolving around me. I'm the main character to this world. But there are also other people in it. It just made me realise I'm not living my life, that's why train rides are so beautiful because it made me realise this. This also made me realise that graffiti is just a form of art people left behind as a reminder that they lived in this world and they were there. That was a pretty deep thought.

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Ristorante Paradiso

Can I just point out how Ristorante Paradiso the cutest and awesomest anime, is underrated? LIKE WHY IS IT UNDERRATED? AHHHHHHHH
Lately I started enjoying some Josei genre anime. This genre is also underrated to which I don’t understand why. Josei basically means mature female. Not bragging that I’m mature or anything because deep down I know I’m not, it’s just a facade. 
If you know me, I love reverse harem and older guys. Went and google some anime with that description and boom all over my face for a while is Ristorante Paradiso. 

Let me be honest here. I was turned off by how old the men were. UGH. Read the description/ plot and I thought why not? I’ll watch it for the lols. Finished first episode and just fell in love. My horoscope said I’ll fall in love at first sight and it was right. I fell in love with the characters. This shows that you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover. 

The plot revolves around a 21 year old woman name Nicoletta who went to Rome to search for her mother and reveal who she is to her mother’s new husband as a revenge for leaving her 15 years ago. She enters Casetta dell’Orso, a restaurant owned by her mother’s husband and of course her life changes from then when she meets the great men who work there. 

Seriously the animation is beautiful and the character’s smiles are perfect to me. I seriously considered moving to Rome and finding this place if it was real. The food makes me hungry and it’s not even real. My stomach is grumbling atm.

I guarantee that you’ll fall instantly in love with the men or shall I say bishounen ;). As soon as Claudio talked, my heart melted. He is just unbelievably adorable. I don’t care if he is around his 50’s, I ship him so hard with Nicoletta. I can’t blame her for immediately falling in love with this gentleman. When Nicoletta was about to  ‘rape’ him ...ahhhhhhhhh OMG Claudio was such a gentleman that it was so cute I couldn’t handle it. 

 OH claudio. Stay innocent forver pls

If at this point you’re thinking, “ugh ew reverse harem of pedos” I shit you not. This isn’t the stereotypical reverse harem. Think of it as older version of Ouran high boys. The romance obviously just focuses on Nicoletta and Claudio...well Nicolletta one sided love. The other men have their own story which is such a great development for their character. 

So sad how it’s a short series with only a measly 11 episode. Even a person like me with a short attention span wants more than 11 episode. I want more Claudio and Nicoletta!! The ending was so unclear whether Claudio has started development feelings for her. Last episode was beautiful as Nicolletta and her mother's conflict is resolved <3

 Young Claudio, marry me pls


We all agree with you gurl.

Why is  Ristorante Paradiso is underrated? Do not bloody judge it by it’s cover and old men. IT IS INEVITABLE THAT YOU DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE IN RISTORANTE PARADISO. You will love them. I would rate this 10/10 if Claudio would just romantically love Nicoletta but I still give it 10/10 because it’s just perfect. Thanks I got a thing for gentlemen who are old and still beautiful. 

Saturday, 5 April 2014

Had an amateur photo shoot  with my friend. Yes I had to look like an drug addict.

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Girl saves Boy by Steph Bowe

Yes whenever I finish a book I just have to talk about it. Proves how much I read. When it comes to reading, I'm really fussy.The first two sentence is important as it's what makes me want to read it. If I like the first two sentence, I can either finish the book within 2-3 days or .... 3 months.
The title itself attracted me to it. 'Girl saves Boy'. Already, you can visualize what it'll be about. I read the prologue and I knew at the moment I had to finish reading it. I read a bit about the  author, Steph Bowe and she published it when she was 16! damn I couldn't do shit and I'm 16.

Anyways, let talk about what the novel is about. 'Girl saves boy' you can get the idea where it's going. Jewel Valentine saves Sacha Thomas from drowning at a Lake. Then BOOM, their lives change once they met each other. The novel goes through the lives of mainly the two teenager. I love how it's written. Each chapter is based on the first person of  Jewel or Sacha so it makes sense to the reader what is going on and how their lives intertwine with each other.

I'm not so into teenage drama, but Girl saves boy deals with a more mature theme of death and dealing with it. I am very very jealous of the Jewel because she is described to have heterochromia, which means she has different eye colours. Seriously, the way her eyes were described, was so good.

In terms of romance....I felt it was rushed but who cares about that, what book has love that wasn't so rushed.

The ending was arrggghh. I hate using my imagination because I want to know straight up what happened.  Did Sacha die or what? There's so many questions left unanswered. Some hints would be nice. There are some unsolved conflict that I would like to be solved. I felt so unfulfilled when I finished reading.

Why is this book so underrated? There are some spelling mistakes. I reckon if the ending was a bit longer and there's hints about what's going to happen so then my imagination can then do it's job. I would really love it if Jewel and her father would solve their issue.

Overall, I did enjoy it except the ending. Personally, I don't like the idea of Sacha being a few months younger then Jewel. I just had to accept it or ignore the fact.
I rate Girl saves boy....

I really love this quote in the book

Transparent Sexy Pink Heart