Friday, 6 November 2015

Religion annoys me

Hello. It's been so many months since I last posted. I even forgot I had a blog. The year is almost at an end and I barely blogged much this year.

Anyways, I'm at the start of my Uni break (4 months woohoo!). I got so much time to spare and not much to do. I'm currently looking for a part time job and while I'm at it, I finally got a driving instructor (After over a year of getting my learners).  I'm still 12 years old at heart, so this whole growing up business is....bleh!

Enough about my life updates...

The main talk I want to address is how lately, religion is irritating me (specifically Christianity). I've been raised up as a Catholic and over the years, I began to question my religion and God. The more I'm exposed to the world, the more I come to realisation of the truth. I admit, I struggle to have faith in God, let alone love him....I did feel guilty about it growing up. I kind of feel like I had to be brainwashed into loving God. That's just something I notice Christians look like. They look like bunch of brainwashed people. I'm not saying all Christians, just a decent amount do. The ones that I'm referring to are the ones that constantly goes around saying: "God is right" "God loves you" God this" " God that". Like okay..... Stuff like that irritates me. What irritates me more is that they go around and stuff that belief down your throat.

It all started a few weeks ago, I decided to come to Uni 3 hours before my class so I could study. I was feeling a bit peckish, so I went to the Uni's store to buy a ham and cheese wrap since it was the cheapest food I could get there.  I thought it was a nice weather so I sat outside the store on those tables. One bite into my wrap and these two ladies approached me. I was feeling insecure because at the corner of my eyes, I saw one of them giggling and lets just call them Rachel and Kath.

I was thinking fml as they approached closer. Kath was giggling as she stopped in front of me and she apologize for interrupting my lunch and ask if I could spare a few minutes filling out a survey. I thought if I filled it out, they would leave me alone after. I looked at the questions and was questions relating to christianity. When I finished, Kath decided to ask me more questions relating to the survey. She asked if I knew anything about God the mother. At that point I was a bit curious, since I only knew God was portrayed as a male image. She then showed me passages in the bible to point out that there is a God the mother. I was impressed at that point because it made sense. That was until she mentioned how the second coming of Jesus has already appeared. Like what the... I didn't want to question them about it in case it'll offend lol. They lost me at mention. They spent 30 minutes of my time (when they promised a few), talking about how believing there is a God the mother and that getting baptised, I could receive the water of life aka eternal life in heaven.

I didn't care about receiving eternal life because I rather believe there is no life after death. The thing I hate about myself is that I can't say no. I agreed to see them the week after and talk more about their religion. Such huge regret about sitting outside the store.

Well anyways, after they finally left, I went to the library to do my own research. Kath mentioned their church was called Church of God. Before I finished typing it into google, a suggestion at the end of the title was cult. I was flabbergasted for a moment. Of course since it's top suggestion, I needed to know. Was this some scientology shit? this blog has good points.
I'll be honest, it was the most excitement I had all year. For a brief moment, I was glad that I agreed to meet up again. I was going to gather information and use it against them. Oh was I wrong. Kath has been studying the bible for so many years, she practically memorised it and could answer all my questions. I couldn't argue back since I don't read the bible nor am I a committed Catholic.

So after 3 or 4 sessions and a trip to the 'church', I decided to stop meeting up with them. I hated the constant feeling of being pressured into getting baptised. Like nope. I didn't have a say not to mention consent into getting my first baptism. I'm 18 now so I can decide that I will not nor ever be baptised into something else that I find questionable. If Kath thought her lessons could make me love God, it has only placed me more further. I even told her I thought God was being unfair to us, making us repent for sins we don't even remember. Is this a form of manipulation into getting people to worship Him? I'm not a puppet that strictly follows the rules. I want to live my life and not become a brainwashed Christian that believes God is everything. Kath says that when we receive eternal life, we won't feel any pain or suffering. So that would have to mean we are not longer ourselves. No pain,  suffering or sadness would mean no memories of them. Do we even have emotions? if it's just happiness then it definitely sound like we're God's puppets for eternality. That doesn't sound like heaven to me.

This Church makes no sense. If the second coming of Jesus appeared in this era then what happened to all those people between the death of first Jesus to now? Did they all go to hell because they didn't believe there was God the mother, so therefore no eternal life?What about the Saints? Did they go to hell too? I didn't know this Church existed so I'm pretty sure so many others didn't either. Does that mean a majority of people will be sent to hell? Is God really being fair? He would have made it clear and made it Jesus's job in the first place not the 'second'.

Just overall, this chapter in my life has made me irritated so every time I go on Facebook and I see someone has liked a pic of something religious, it annoyed me. I don't need religion to dictate my life. I just need to be a basic human with good morals. Cause you know, even being a decent human won't be enough to go to heaven. So I hope there's nothing after death.

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